In an old building in Shimokitazawa, there lived a man known as the Toilet Master. [1]
The title was not self-proclaimed. The restaurant owners in the area had simply started calling him that, without quite noticing when it began. The reason was straightforward. Ask this man “Is there a free toilet nearby?” and an accurate answer came back every time, and quickly. He might say the coffee shop two alleys back was less busy right now than the convenience store by the station. He would be right.
The word spread quietly.
During the busy lunch hour, a server from a nearby soba restaurant would come running over. “Any free toilets toward Sanchome?” The man would lift his face slightly. “Ground floor of Matsuda Building, you can go right now.” The server would thank him and run off. The man would lower his eyes back to his paperback.
Before long it was not only restaurant staff. Passersby started asking too. Before they could finish saying “Excuse me, is there a toilet around here,” the man was already pointing. “Basement of that building over there. It is free right now.”
Not that nobody found it strange.
They simply never asked outright. The Master was not suspicious in any obvious way. He was just a man who occupied a room in the old building and often sat in a chair beside the entrance, sometimes reading.
One day, a regular finally summoned the courage to ask him directly.
“How do you always know which toilets are free?”
The man looked up from his paperback, paused a moment, then answered.
“I direct people to the toilets I installed myself. Almost every one in this area, I put in.”
[1] Shimokitazawa is a neighborhood in Tokyo celebrated for its indie music venues, vintage clothing stores, and small theaters. It is one of the city’s most beloved counterculture districts.
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【1分小説】下北沢トイレ名人
下北沢の古いビルに、トイレ名人と呼ばれる男がいた。
名人という称号は自称ではない。近隣の飲食店主たちが、気づいたらそう呼んでいた。理由は単純だった。この男に「トイレ、どこか空いてますか」と聞くと、かならず正確に答えが返ってくる。しかも早い。駅前のコンビニより、路地を二本入った喫茶店のほうが今は空いている、と言う。その通りだった。
噂は静かに広まった。
ランチの混む時間帯、近所の蕎麦屋の店員が走ってきて「三丁目のほう、空いてるトイレありますか」と聞く。男は少し顔を上げ、「松田ビルの一階、今ちょうどいける」と答える。礼を言って店員は走っていく。男はまた文庫本に目を落とす。
やがて飲食店の人間だけでなく、通りすがりの客も聞くようになった。「すみません、このへんトイレ……」と言いかけると、男はすでに指を差している。「あのビルの地下。今は空いてますよ」。
誰も不思議がらなかった、とは言えない。
あからさまには聞かなかっただけだ。名人は別に怪しくない。ただ古いビルの一室で何かをしている人間で、入り口の脇の椅子によく座っていた。本を読んでいることもある。
あるとき常連の一人が、意を決して本人に聞いた。
「なんで空いてるトイレ、わかるんですか」
男は文庫本から目を離し、少し間を開けてから答えた。
「私が施工したトイレを、案内してるんです。この界隈、ほとんど私が入れましたから」