When Fujii heard that there was “a trial class for 3B Taisō,” he was convinced it had to be some kind of code. Three B’s. This had to be a seriously sketchy gathering. Bracing himself, he headed to the venue. When he opened the door, folding chairs were lined up in rows, and a woman who appeared to be the instructor was standing there with a smile.
The instructor took out a ball, a bell, and a belter.
Fujii leaned toward his wife and whispered.
“The bell — you mean, like, an actual bell?”
“Probably the kind you ring, right?”
“Then what’s a belter?”
“… Probably the kind you ring even more?”
Once it started, it turned out to be a thoroughly peaceful health exercise routine set to music. Each time they rolled the ball, gripped the bell, and stretched the belter, the participants exchanged soft smiles. Each time, Fujii’s face stayed completely blank.
Afterward, the instructor asked him for his impressions.
Fujii gave a solemn nod.
“I thought 3B was going to be some kind of dangerous organization.”
The instructor smiled cheerfully.
“We’re an organization dedicated to protecting your health.”
Fujii had one more question.
“By the way — what does 3B actually stand for?”
“It’s an exercise routine that was popular when I was in middle school.”
“But what does it mean?”
The instructor’s gaze drifted somewhere slightly far away.
“In middle school, I was in Third Year, Class B.” [1]
On the way home, Fujii said nothing to his wife. His wife asked nothing either.
[1] 3B Taisō (3B体操) is a real Japanese health exercise program using three dedicated props: a soft ball, a small bell, and a belter (a flexible rod-like tool whose name has no established English equivalent). Participants perform gentle movements set to music; the program has been practiced in Japan since the 1970s and is especially popular among older adults. The punchline turns on the Japanese school naming convention, in which classes are identified by year number and alphabetical letter — Third Year, Class B therefore becomes “3B.” The name of a nationally known exercise program turns out to trace back to nothing more than the instructor’s own middle school homeroom.
—
【1分小説】疑惑の体験会
今週は3B体操(ボール、ベル、ベルターという3つの専用用具を使い、音楽に合わせて行う健康体操)について書きました。
—
「3B体操の体験会があります」と聞いた藤井は、てっきり何かの暗号だと思った。Bが3つ。これは相当やばい集まりだ。藤井は身構えて会場へ向かった。扉を開けると、折りたたみ椅子が並び、先生らしき女性が笑顔で立っていた。
先生が取り出したのは、ボール、ベル、ベルターだった。
藤井は隣の妻に小声で聞いた。
「ベルって、あのベルか」
「たぶん、鳴らすやつじゃない？」
「じゃあベルターは？」
「……たぶん、もっと鳴らすやつじゃない？」
始まってみると、音楽に合わせて体を動かす、やたら平和な健康体操だった。ボールを転がし、ベルを握り、ベルターを伸ばすたびに、参加者たちが柔らかく笑い合っていた。藤井はそのたびに真顔になった。
終わったあと、先生に感想を聞かれた。
藤井は神妙にうなずいた。
「3Bって、もっと物騒な団体かと思ってました」
先生はにこにこしながら言った。
「健康を守る団体ですよ」
藤井はもう一つ聞いた。
「ちなみに3Bって、何の略ですか」
「私が中学のときに流行った体操なんです」
「どういう意味ですか」
先生は少し遠い目をした。
「中学の時、3年B組だったんです」
藤井は帰り道、妻に何も言わなかった。妻も何も聞かなかった。